Movie Review: Identity Thief

Identity Thief

"Honesty is as Blonde does..."

Starring: Jason Bateman, Melissa McCarthy

Synopsis: Unlimited funds have allowed Diana to live it up on the outskirts of Miami, where the queen of retail buys whatever strikes her fancy. There's only one glitch: The ID she's using to finance these sprees reads "Sandy Bigelow Patterson" and it belongs to an accounts rep who lives halfway across the U.S. With only one week to hunt down the con artist before his world implodes, the real Sandy Bigelow Patterson heads south to confront the woman with an all-access pass to his life. And as he attempts to bribe, coax and wrangle her the 2,000 miles to Denver, one easy target will discover just how tough it is to get your name back.

Actors Impression:
     I have been a Melissa McCarthy fan since her days on the TV show Gilmore Girls, so I'm not surprised with her enormous spike in popularity. She gives 100 percent to her character, and Identity Thief is no different. The character of Diana is a first for McCarthy, as a selfish yet lonely con artist filling her life with stuff instead of meaningful relationships and hard work. Her comedic timing and physical delivery was top-notch, playing well off her co-star, Bateman, and the other sub-characters in the film. 
     Jason Bateman has been a favored actor of mine since Dodgeball, and this new film didn't disappoint. Although, poor Bateman took way too many punches to the throat in this movie, I think, and was maybe a little too uptight after McCarthy's character (I think) proved her loyalty.

Plot Impression:
     I thought this movie was fun and original. The timeline of a week kept the story from getting too out of hand or off-track, and the different obstacles Bateman and McCarthy faced seemed "realistic" in terms of the type of film.
     I think the storylines of the bounty-hunter (WHY DIDN'T HE HAVE A NAME?) and the two other characters that were after Diana needed more explaining. I got that the guy and the chick were working for some guy that Diana sold stolen stuff to, but why was it so important to chase her across the country? And how did the bounty hunter survive a car accident, at least two days in the hot sun in a hot van, a shot to the face, and another car? Also, how did he get to 
     

Overall Impression:
     Overall, I think this was a funny film, but not one to stand up to the test of time. I loved the physical comedy, but I think it was taken too far with so many sexual/physical jokes. Honestly, we did NOT need that much of cowboy-Eric Stonestreet. 


The Blonde's Rating: 2.5/5 -rent it

That's all for now,
The Blonde

Clockwork Princess by Cassandra Clare [SPOILERS AHEAD!] (Infernal Devices)

"Honesty is as Blonde does..."

THE INFERNAL DEVICES WILL NEVER STOP COMING

A net of shadows begins to tighten around the Shadowhunters of the London Institute. Mortmain plans to use his Infernal Devices, an army of pitiless automatons, to destroy the Shadowhunters. He needs only one last item to complete his plan: he needs Tessa Gray.

Charlotte Branwell, head of the London Institute, is desperate to find Mortmain before he strikes. But when Mortmain abducts Tessa, the boys who lay equal claim to her heart, Jem and Will, will do anything to save her. For though Tessa and Jem are now engaged, Will is as much in love with her as ever.

As those who love Tessa rally to rescue her from Mortmain’s clutches, Tessa realizes that the only person who can save her is herself. But can a single girl, even one who can command the power of angels, face down an entire army?

Danger and betrayal, secrets and enchantment, and the tangled threads of love and loss intertwine as the Shadowhunters are pushed to the very brink of destruction in the breathtaking conclusion to the Infernal Devices trilogy.

Movie Review: Side Effects

Side Effects:

Starring: Jude Law, Rooney Mara, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Channing Tatum

Synopsis: A young woman's world unravels when a drug prescribed by her psychiatrist has unexpected side effects.

Actors Impression:
     I was disappointed with the lack of Channing Tatum's hotness in this film, but when he was on screen, his performance was starkly different from his past performances which, in my book, is good. He's never played this kind of character before, so he can't remind me of anything I've seen before. That aside, Tatum's presence in this film was lack-luster and forgettable. Basically, his character was there to be a catalyst to get the real conflict in the movie going, and it probably could have been replaced by anyone.
    Jude Law was marvelous in this film. His character transformed with the circumstances in this movie, and I was completely enveloped in his development.
    Catherine Zeta-Jones is an excellent actress, however right from the start of the movie, I felt like her character was up to something, that she did not have innocent intentions, and in the style of the film, I shouldn't have been able to detect that in the beginning. She played sketchy-as-hell very well, but she needed to begin her performance with "I'm-just-trying-to-help."
    Rooney Mara was excellent. She embodied her character throughout the entirety of the film and played well off of the other actors. Perfection.

Plot Impression:
   I was very surprised by the film and the plot line. This was partly due to the film promos being incredibly vague about the plot, but they gave enough of an impression to guess the story, and I guessed wrong. Which, as a writer, doesn't happen very often. Thankfully, I was pleasantly surprised with the turn the Law-Mara plot line took halfway through the film. It was surprising, unexpected, and ended in a way that satisfied my preferences by the end of the movie. I was disappointed with the use of Zeta-Jones' character; she definitely could have been integrated into the developing story in a much better way, and it sort of left me feeling very... "Really? Really, this is happening right now?"
    The film could have definitely been set up in a different way to make the conclusion come out with much stronger convictions, which would have inevitably given Tatum's character more use and importance.
    Speaking from a writer's point of view, the story was good and surprising, but it definitely could have gone through another round of edits and become stronger.

Overall Impression:
   I enjoyed watching this film a lot more than I expected I would. While I obviously have critiques after thinking about it for a few days, walking out of the theater, I was singing nothing but praises.
   I think the music and score definitely improved the viewing experience of this film. The music was subtle and beautiful, and enhanced the experience in my opinion.
   Would I see this movie again? Probably not in theaters, but I'll buy it on DVD.


The Blonde's Rating: 4/5 ****
Rotten Tomatoes: 84%
Average Rating: 7.4/10


Thanks!
The Blonde

Hello,

I said I would review TV shows, and I will, but I won't do it episode by episode because I get so easily behind on some shows that by the time I'd update one, it would be, like, three episodes behind. 

So I will be reviewing TV shows on the day after their finale airs.

These shows will be:

Season 2

Season 1

Season 26: Fans vs. Favorites

Season 4

I could probably update it episode by episode for these last two shows, but I'm not going to break form.

Hope everyone is looking forward to these reviews!

Thanks!

The Blonde

Future Posts

Hello,

I'm going to give you a quick look at what's to come in the next week or so for Blonde Reviews, let me know if you like what's coming up, okay?

What do you think? Some good choices?

I'm most excited for Identity Thief and Bitterblue, mostly because I haven't seen/started them yet, but they both hold great promises!

Side Effects, however, was a great theatrical experience, and, well, you'll just have to read to know what I thought of the rest!

Thanks!
The Blonde

The Raven Boys by Maggie Stiefvater

BLONDE BOOK REVIEW:

 My first review for this blog is taken from my other blog, and it is on Maggie Stiefvater's The Raven Boys, the first book in the Raven Cycle series. I want this to be here because I really enjoyed reading this book, and I think this review belongs here.

The Raven Boys -Maggie Stiefvater

Blue Sargent, the daughter of the town psychic in Henrietta, Virginia, has been told for as long as she can remember that if she ever kisses her true love, he will die. But she is too practical to believe in things like true love. Her policy is to stay away from the rich boys at the prestigious Aglionby Academy. The boys there — known as Raven Boys — can only mean trouble.

[WARNING -this review may contain spoilers.]

Indeed, the Raven Boys, Gansey, Adam, Ronan, and Noah, prove quite a bit of trouble for Blue, who is just trying to make it through high school without falling in love. 

As always, I love Stiefvater's writing, and I couldn't resist the urge to ask for this book for Christmas -I would have bought it myself back in September when if first came out, but I had a lot going on in my fall semester. Anyway, Stiefvater manages to write both mundane and disturbing instances sound like poetry, or lyrics in a song. If you haven't read any of her other books, I encourage you to pick up The Scorpio Races -it was so incredible and such a great story, and can't stop talking about it, a year after reading.

Things that I liked:

        I really appreciated the different personalities and characters of the three main Raven Boys (we don't see a heck of a lot of Noah in this first book, so I can't really talk about him that much). One of the things that I really admire so much about Stiefvater's writing is her ability to balance a number of different characters and their own personal stories into the major storyline of the book.
        I utterly loved Gansey's unintentional insults and obliviousness to other people's feelings and principles, despite his obvious intelligence and focus on his passion. 
        Adam is a little too self-depricating for my taste, but overall I really liked him and his personal principle to make his life what he can by his own power; and I'm not-so-secretly rooting for him and Blue to get together, and not the hinted Gansey-Blue future romance. Although, I am a little concerned about how he survived the weird ritual and what it means about his "person" in the coming books.
        Ronan is a little hard to love, as he is in the story, but not because he's aggressive, gloomy, violent, but because his character is full of unresolved secrets! GRRR! I just want to know how his father died and what kind of strange power he really has to make ravens out of his dreams and his thoughts.
        Blue is less of a mystery than her mother and aunts and weird family psychics living in her home. I would, however, love to know if her power-that's-not-a-power is going to transform in anyway to help the Boys find their ancient king.

        The story is a new kind of quest that I haven't really seen done this way before, and that intrigued me a lot, especially because I picked up this book for the author, not so much the story. I liked how the individual aspects and journeys of each character sort of fell into place as the book moved along, and the mystery that came along with the magic Blue and her Raven Boys discovered helped make the story even more interactive.

What I didn't like:
Not finding out who Blue's father really is.
Not finding out how Ronan's father died. Or what his problem with his brother and the rest of his family is.
Not knowing what the heck is happening with that weird tree.

        Getting so lost in the story that I didn't realize there wasn't enough time/pages in the book to actually get to plot points that have been hinted at earlier in the book, and then failing to accept that this book was the first in a series that has yet to be fully published, and not a stand-alone novel.

Overall Impression:

While I was extremely disappointed to discover that this was the first in a series that I'll have to wait for, I was enamored by the mystery in this book, as well as the characters and their personal histories, of which readers haven't completely uncovered just yet.

Blonde's Rating: 4/5
Amazon/Goodreads Rating: 4/5

The second book in the Raven Cycle series, The Dream Thieves, is now available for pre-order and will be on sale on September 17, 2013.

That's what I've got to say on that!
Thanks!
THE BLONDE

Welcome to The Blonde Reviews

Hello!

Welcome to the Blonde Reviews, where I -the blonde -review books and movies and TV shows that I watch right here in semi-perfect prose.

Now, seeing as I'm still kind of poor and pathetic and unpopular, I can't always update movies and TV shows in a timely manner, because I'm working into the wee hours of the morning.

My taste in books tends toward the YA Fantasy/Chick Lit realms (sorry I'm not sorry), but I do sometimes venture outside my comfort zone and try something new -especially with suggestions!

Movies range all over the place -except into horror/scary movies (unless I get lots of readers that want to make me suffer and ask and ask and ask me to go and review them).

TV shows are a little harder, because I can't keep up a regular TV-watching schedule, but there are shows that I follow every season, and sometimes I just have to do super major catch-up sessions every few weeks to keep myself updated.

So yes, I can't promise you the most timely of reviews, but I can promise you that they will be the best and most honest that I can give to you.

I'd never give anything less.

Thanks!
The Blonde